Telling your partner you’re pregnant can be hard and scary. Did you know that nearly half of all pregnancies in the U.S. each year are unplanned? There are almost two million women each year who experience the same emotions as you are right now. You’re not alone in trying to figure this situation out. Once you’ve had a positive pregnancy test, it’s time to tell the father of the baby. You might be anxious or scared of his reaction but being honest with yourself and him is the first step.
Here are a few tips to help you make this less overwhelming:
Share your news in person
Unless you fear for your safety, it is always best to share this new face to face. Text or email communication doesn’t allow for either of you to see one another’s body language, facial expressions and tone. Choose a location that allows privacy. If you are worried about how he may react, find a public park or outdoor coffee shop that might be a place where others are around, and you feel safe. Or you could invite along a support person to be present for the conversation.
Be honest
Instead of saying “I have bad news” open the conversation with your honest feelings. If you’re scared, be sure to tell him that. Having open conversations about your thoughts and feelings will welcome him to share his feelings too. Remember not everyone will have the same reaction as you. Plans are never the same as realities and emotions and feelings can’t be controlled.
Give Space for His Reaction
You’ve had time to process this surprise, but he hasn’t. Try to remember all of the emotions you felt when you discovered your pregnancy. There may have been anger, confusion, happiness, fear and other emotions. Give him the space to have these emotions, too. Regardless of your partner’s initial reaction, you always deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. This is why it’s a good idea to give him some time to process the news. After, sit down and have a conversation about how you both feel and the decisions you must make.
Most commonly, a man will respond with a complicated mix of many other emotions. Hopefully, no matter what his personal feelings are about the pregnancy, his response is a mature and supportive one. When you tell the father of an unplanned pregnancy, you deserve encouragement and to be treated with respect.
Once you have told your partner you are pregnant, make an appointment at BFR Medical to have a medical grade pregnancy test, ultrasound and to sit down with licensed medical professionals to discuss the options that you have. Bring the father of the baby with you to the appointment so that he can ask questions and support you in the decision you have.